Turkey to teach ESL how to have a proper purge


Turkey have just announced their intentions to give ESL lessons on how to properly purge following an attempted coup. President Erdogan has extended a personal invitation to ESL to come and join him to see what a real purge looks like, and released the following statement after tonights events:

“When I heard that ESL had just rounded up and banned several players from competitive play, I knew they were on the right track, but they could still use a few pointers.

For starters, they’re spending too much valuable time wondering whether anybody actually broke any rules, which is time that could be better spent doing more purging.

They should also probably execu-I mean ban the ‘victims’ as well, because you know, nobody likes a tattletale.”